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How to overcome breakups

2015-07-15-

 How to overcome breakup

 

 

Why do people go through heartbreak?

Have you experienced breakup?

Do you know what the hardest thing in life is?

Have you ever fallen in love?

Have you been cheated or dumped?

 

 

 

Let me tell you this, the hardest thing in life is to move on and to get over someone who has  once meant a lot to you in your life and  with whom you had actually imagined your future. The person with whom your days used to start and nights ended.

We all are social being and being attached to somebody provides immense comfort, care, support and affection. Sometimes relations do not last as we wished and the person who was then so close suddenly turns out to be a stranger. In such situations you will feel that all the comfort of that relation is torn apart and an intolerable sense of sadness, being left alone, used, betrayal starts to creep in. These feelings become so powerful and come with such force that you cannot even resume your normal days and find yourself in total darkness which seems to have no end.

You find yourself in a mess from which you find no way out and the whole life seems pointless.

Breakups can affect you so strongly that you find it hard to come over and move on. In many instances we find that people go into depression and even think of ending their lives.

Most of us in our lives go through breakups as we all are human beings and love each other. Breakups in fact are loss of love that you experienced through separation from your loved ones.

 

What is love?

Love is the intense feeling which exists inside any individual.  Whenever you get the glance of that someone special you feel like butterflies are flying inside your stomach. This magical feeling is known as love. When you care about only that person and nobody else, when only that person matters to you, when you can’t imagine a single day without that person, when you can do anything and everything just to see a smile on your loved ones face, when you can take a bullet for that person, when seeing your loved one cry if it brings tears into your eyes, this feeling is called “LOVE”. Most of us believe that love comes from heart but actually it occurs inside the brain. The brain is the part of our body that generates different chemical signals that make us understand the feeling of love. There are different signs and styles for expressing love. The four sings and styles used for expressing love in the ancient Greek are mentioned below

·         The unconditional love is the kind of love which sees beyond the outer surface and expects the other person as they are besides of having many flaws and differences. This kind of love is all about sacrifice and only doing things for that loved one without wanting anything in return.

·         The affectionate love is the kind of love which gives you the desire of friendship with someone. It is the committed and chosen love.

·         Empathy bond is the kind of love which is for your family and friends. This is the

kind of love that parents naturally feel for their children,  the love that a family member have for each other or the love that friends feel for each other. In some cases, it is even found that the friendship love may turn into a romantic relationship. The couple in such a relationship becomes best friends before being couples. It is kind off unconditional love in which you accepts the flaws and differences which as a result always makes you to forgive that person. This kind of love makes to feel comfortable and safe when you are with that person.

·         Erotic bond is the kind of love that is very passionate. This kind of love only gives feeling for some period of time, you will only love the outer beauty of that person whom you say “I love you” and not the inner beauty. It is more often called sexual love in which you love your partner for pleasure. This kind of love will not last long unless you move a bit higher and care for the person before you care about yourself.

These are the kinds of love. Love is the way for breakup. If the feeling of love gradually decreases and that person does not matter to you like they used to than this feeling will lead to breakup.

 

 

 

What is breakup?

Breakup is the separation of two beautiful souls who were once stated as “love birds” by their friends and closed ones. Breakup is one of the hardest phase in anyone’s life which they face. It is measured as the second biggest stress in anyone’s life by Hans Selye. Breakup usually occurs when one is dissatisfied with the relationship which they are in. There are many emotions that goes through breakup, some of them are pre effect which are not very intense but the post effects of breakup are very tough to handle. Here are a few post effects of breakup one might face.

 

The after breakup symptoms:

We never imagine living without someone whom we love more than anything else in the world. When you go through heartbreak you think it’s the end of your life but you have forgotten that there always comes a sunshine, a new day and a new beginning after every dark night. When both of you decides to move on or when separation takes place that’s the time when you start missing that person who was once “yours”, you start missing the late night phone calls and talks, the fights, the arguments, the beautiful moments spent together, the time when you were called “baby”, “sweet heart”, “my life” etc. by the person who was once “yours”. You start to miss their voice. Over all you start to miss that person.

At times it happens after your breakup that when you see a couple walking together in a road, you start hating seeing them together, you have a harsh feeling that starts with “once upon a time and you end up by thinking that they are also going to end up soon”. Hey don’t worry these kinds of feelings that you feel after your relationship has ended is natural. It’s natural to hate all those things that once upon a time were your favorite, the things like “true love”, “love at first sight” doesn’t appeal to you anymore. You start to think that “true love” and “love at first sight” only appears in movies, dramas, stories etc. You start to hate the famous love story “Romeo and Juliet” which at one time happened to be you’re all-time favorite love story, you draw a conclusion that there is nothing like true love and the love stories are just fake and created by human’s imagination.

 

How can you overcome breakup.

You get a heart break for a period of time and after some time you start to live your life the way it was before, the only difference is that now at present you are living your life without “that person”. Imagining and living a life without that person is very hard isn’t it? But life goes on. You have to move along with your life. Time and tides waits for none. This is the reality. As time passes by the wound on your hand gets healed in the same way your broken heart will also get healed one day. All you need to do is have patience, try to move on, start to enjoy your life even when it means to enjoy without that person, find happiness in small things that exists and one day you will start finding difference in yourself.

The things which you can do to overcome breakup can be as below:

         Normally people say that to get over a relationship you must try to get along with another relationship. But this is not true. In some cases maybe it has helped a lot but don’t you think using another person’s feeling just for you selfish motif of moving on is not good? Besides doing this you can start interacting with different peoples, start sharing your views and ideas with others. Communicating, building social relationships is much better. This may help you to move on.

         Spending your time in doing some fruit full work such as reading books, writing stories etc will help you to divert your mind from that pain and it will provide you a chance to be happy.

         Talking with someone whom you can trust and by sharing your feelings with them can also help you to get over.

         Clearing every doubts with that person will make you feel better at least you won’t regret in your future for not trying to talk even once with that person.

         It’s going to hurt like you have nailed yourself or even worse than that saying final “goodbye” to that person but after few days you will start to feel better and then will come one day when you will stop missing that person and forget about everything that happened and finally will be able to move on in your life and start a new beginning.

As we normally hear that there is always another life after death, in the same way there is a new beginning after end. You need to get up, tighten your belt, carry your bag and then start a new beginning of your life. Past is going to stay as your past, it is a history; whatever happened in your past is just a story to be told in the upcoming future. Live the every moment of your life to the fullest without any remorse and guilt’s because you never know if you will ever again get a second chance to relive your life all ever again.

 

Source: Center for Psychological Health & Emotional Wellbeing Pvt. Ltd.,

Garigaon, Tinkune, Kathmandu, Nepal,

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